This Should Be In Every Town And City

I've done shows here before, but I've never done slut drops in six-inch heels! I’ve never done a torch song number. This experience cemented a real connection to Crisis and the Old Fire Station, in a much deeper way than other shows. It's just been the most eye-opening, incredible project I've ever worked on in my 30 something years in the business.

I got a call from Lizzy McBain, the director, maybe late or early September. Time as we all know, is weirdly fluid and bonkers. She asked if I’d like to be involved saying, there's a particular part that she wanted me to play, and did I know of Hidden Spire? I said yes, I knew of the project. But obviously, I hadn't been involved with Hidden Spire before, so I said, hold on, and I will talk to my agent, and I'll have a think. Never having done a panto dame or anything, it was just too irresistible. So I said yes! Margarita, my character, he/she was my age, and so had probably grown up with Danny LaRue and those acceptable, mainstream, Royal Variety Performers of the 70s and 80s. Old school drag. Although I think she’d love RuPaul, and what it was doing for the whole community.

I often find that the rehearsals are the best bit of any project. The freedom and the fun. And then when a show’s up and running, it has its own life. Some of the community members, they hadn't done terribly much on stage before, so there was a beautiful spontaneity to what they were doing. They just threw themselves into it completely. The thing that struck me towards the end of the rehearsal period – I realised there were no egos in the room. Usually, as actors, we're used to working with at least one fairly sizable ego. But there were no egos at all, because there simply couldn't be. There was no room for them. And that was incredibly freeing and wonderful. You need to be a good listener. It’s like the late great Alan Rickman said: the best quality of any actor is the intensity of their listening. You need to be open. You need to put yourself second, and be bloody compassionate of course.

What surprised me was how unbelievably engaged, committed, and professional the Crisis cast members were. I did come with a preconceived idea, expectations, whatever you want to call it. And the surprise was – they blew those away from me. I was left with awe and admiration at what they were achieving alongside what each of them were going through individually. It made me value the sense of community even more, especially with what's going on globally, let alone domestically at the moment. It was delightful dealing with the human condition. You have a whole building, working on this project, where from the top down is care and support and inclusivity, and passion for the project and for drama. It filters down, so once you get into the rehearsal room you've got this bedrock of support underneath you.

Working on Hidden Spire, the other thing I realised ties into how I was thinking about my character. Normally as an actor your immediate focus is me, me, me. It's on you. It's your character. Who are they? What's their journey? All this. But every day and every moment, my focus was making sure that all the community cast were happy. There was an incredible freedom in that, because it meant that I didn't think about my character at all that much. It was very spontaneous and in the moment which was ideal. It took all kinds of stress off me as an actor, and I would like to think that it's going to stay with me for all my life.

On the Saturday matinee, Oxford United were playing, and the away fans were in town and already very merry, and singing their delightful songs outside the pub opposite. Then they were sitting down in the street, not letting the bus go through and all that sort of thing. It took a while before the police came and said, I think we need to move you on to go and watch the football. But there was that moment when I said, Terry, um, shall I go to the window and tell them to keep it down boys? And then I thought no, because that would be very naughty and might then draw attention. But in this safe space I felt I could have gone to the window and talked to people out in the street. As indeed happened during a dress rehearsal. The fire brigade arrived, so we all had to go outside and Margarita was flirting with a fireman! The unique thing is that you've got this building that houses Crisis and the Old Fire Station, so it means that you're incredibly aware when you come in of people looking after you, whoever you are. There's the sense that it's incredibly safe, it's incredibly respectful. And that was apparent throughout every day of rehearsal.

When it comes to the show, singing that torch song number in the cabaret, it felt moving. It was a real moment of reflection on what it was like to survive and live through tough times. The lyrics told Margarita’s whole story. She's someone who has struggled her entire life, so that by the very end we had the whole audience on our side. But actually, on a wider note, what was even more special was seeing every day what the cast were coming up with, and how people were growing, and being brave, and experimental, and creative. That was a joy. Every day there was something someone did that was brilliant, and eye opening, and wonderful. That really culminated in the final scene of the show, when the whole company were together in this safe place, the higher ground where they were surviving and living and having their evening meals. It was an absolutely joyous celebration.

This should be in every town and city, because every town and city in the country has its own struggles and problems. There’s a power in this particular artform to help those who are struggling on many levels. It’s the power of a safe place, somewhere to work and to be accepted and included, and to create this extraordinary production. It’s something that should be available to anyone who is struggling with homelessness, or mental health issues, or whatever it might be. It shouldn't just be those lucky enough to be here in Oxford. But good on Oxford, and the Old Fire Station, and Crisis here to have created this bit of magic. The ones who saw it I don't think will forget it. And for those that didn't see it, tough luck. You should have booked!