This Little Bracelet

I've been wearing this little bracelet. I don't know where I got it from. I think it’s also meant to be a hair band. But everybody should have something like this. No matter what it is. Whether it be a little bracelet, a little chain, even a keyring or a coin, just to give themselves a little confidence. It doesn't have to be expensive, it can be anything you want. Whatever makes you feel happy. You can go to a charity shop. Find that something that gives a little twinkle. It’s what it brings out in you. If somebody says oh, why did you buy that? Or why are you wearing that? You can say it's because I wanted it, it’s mine. It makes me happy. And make sure you have it on you at all times, because it will bring you more confidence than you think.  

I was getting into a bit of a dark place, where I had no confidence at all. I was getting more and more isolated in my home. I don't know how many other referrals I got, but I got referred to Age UK somehow. And I was contacted mostly due to the fact that I’ve got gender dysphoria. I was asked if I wanted to participate in Silver Pride. I was a little bit apprehensive at first. My brain was going through the tumble dryer stage. And I was having a lot of trouble trying to balance reality and fantasy. But coming to Silver Pride gave me a way of balancing, of breaking my routine. In my dark place I’d get weirded out and then go to bed. But Silver Pride forced me to do something else and it broke the spiral. It forced me to go outside and touch grass, as they say. If I hadn't met guys from Mind and Silver Pride, I think I would have stooped low. I would have been classed as an agoraphobic, and I would have been hospitalised. 

Silver Pride showed me that I'm not the only person in Banbury who’s part of the community. Because a lot of people who are in the closet don't realise there are other people out there. They think they're the only ones. They stay hidden away. They don't realise there are people like me. But sometimes it's too late for them, unfortunately. I'm classed as one of the lucky few that actually got some help to get outside, break old habits, and meet other people. It gave me a confidence boost. 

This time last year I was extraordinarily broken. I'd been through the washing machine. My dark era had just started pretty much and it was not fun. I wouldn't even want what I was going through on my worst enemies. Silver Pride lifted a couple of weights off my shoulders. It gave me something different to live for. Although I was still in a dark place until June last year. That was the peak of the ‘nope, I don’t want to be here’ phase. But I was still coming to Silver Pride. There was always another option that I had, although I couldn't see it, because my brain just wouldn't want it. But I just had to keep on going. 

Silver Pride has helped a lot and so has Sarah. Sarah, to my life, she’s like a guiding star. Although she won't take credit for it. She helped me when I was in an extremely dark place. She was there at the exact time that I needed her. I've made a lot of friends, met new people, and been to different places. I’m also going to Banbury Football Club and Grimsby Centre. It's been quite a wild ride. And I've been to Banbury Pride, at the Coach and Horses. It’s every first Friday of the month. That's amazing. And then there's LGB Tea as well. Which is every second Sunday of the month. We might go to the cabaret show, something like that. Suddenly I have things to look forward to, and I’ve got more confidence. There are exciting times coming this year!