Birthday parties to go to

Starling Sessions is an artistic, musical gathering of people from all different walks of life - different ages, cultures, countries - to enjoy music together. It’s seen as a global folk band of twenty to forty people that get together every week and share their culture. Everybody is invited to partake in music, but it's also very exposing, very vulnerable. And when you are in such an enthusiastic group with such a positive energy, you are challenged to come out and just do your music. The word ‘Starlings’ is also really interesting. It is deliberate. We did a vote in the first year about what the name should be. There were a few good cases but ‘Starling Sessions’ resonated the most with us because starlings are from all over the world - you find them in every continent.  They are also amazing at mimicry, they pick up songs. It's the perfect allegory for a band that portrays music from all across the world.

We make certain that there is a composition at the end of the session. Almost every session there's a new song that a person brings forward, and it's going to be in a different language, whether it’s a Maori song from New Zealand or a song in Dutch, or Spanish. There are also songs from Myanmar or Scotland where they talk about the beautiful mountains. You might have a Nicaraguan song about growing corn, or an Italian song about love. Songs about the beauty of a country, the beauty of a people, the warmth of community – these are topics that Starling Sessions attracts because there is such a warm international community of people that you meet there. 

Over the span of a two-hour session, we learn the song’s history and its meaning within the culture. It’s not only about the story, but also the way it's played that portrays its ‘meaning.’ A song from Iran has a very different beat to a song from Central America. And it's that richness of what that actually means, and how the lyrics interact with that. It's not about perfection, it's about energy. Like if it's a rousing revolutionary song, we want to hear that, we want to feel that. And you'd be surprised at how well people can pick up on those feelings. There’s no judgment, there’s only the shared experience of being human. Not knowing the language is not a problem, there's so much that you can bring, whether it’s singing along, clapping hands, or playing a mandolin, playing a guitar, playing drums, playing anything! We had a flute; we had a saxophone; I play guitar, and I sing. Everybody comes together to make a composition that they're happy with. 

Whenever we go through a song, we first go through the words. We repeat them back, just do the mimicry, like starlings! Whether the syllable goes like this, whether it’s staccato, whether it goes up, down, or it's flat - there's so much richness there. All of a sudden you see that language is inherently melodic. The thing about being exposed to all that in a group setting, I think, is very empowering, especially when you're not that good at English. You hear all these other people who are also not English struggle with foreign languages as well. We’ve got a few refugees that are regular visitors, this is their moment of getting out and really practicing English, of exchanging cultures. You see that the feeling of being home is really important, especially when you needed to flee your home because it wasn't safe.

We had refugees share their songs and it’s amazing. It's always scary, but Lauren and John made them feel comfortable. Another time, there was a person from Nicaragua that couldn't speak English well enough to be confident. That is when we get a person from Central Spain to help translate what is happening. If you need to speak a Latin language, if you come from Ukraine, the Middle East, just come because we find a way. Lauren and John’s original idea was building a low barrier community where people can feel at home and part of the group and willing to share, to experience, to join in. We’re all there to learn, and to hear the story of your culture. 

There are a lot of people that just sit and listen and just hum along for the first few meetings. And after that, they say, ‘I picked up my flute again because I hadn't touched it in such a while.’ They’re empowered to take it to Starlings, and within a year they’ll be on the stage, and they'll be playing along. And that is the empowering part of playing music, of being in a group, having conversations. People open up. 

Lauren and John are cultivating a safe space, for instance, for helping refugees. We can provide them with music training, learning an extra skill and being part of a community. We want to include refugees and other international communities, so the people who need a home can feel at home, and music is a really good way of getting there and dealing with life. We need to be open and respectful, and I think Lauren and John are really successful in making this safe space where everybody can join in.  

It’s sort of like saying, ‘I am a human, and I accept you in the same group as me.’ And we might have a beer together, or a cup of tea later, or we’ll play some music elsewhere. It does break the ice between people. You get exposed to so many different types of music, but also different people, cultures and food. Now, just going to Starling Sessions I’ve asked people to send me recipes because the food during our break was too good. 

Something that you also learn from a project like this is that people are so kind to share. And it's not just like what food to make, it’s how the rental market works, how the university works, how taxes work, you know. Or what happens on May Day. Where do I do what? Can I pay on the bus? Do I need cash with me? I mean, just imagine not knowing how to get on a bus, or how to get to the hospital or how to get a GP. In our case we have WhatsApp groups. One for organizational stuff, another one for this support.  We know that it is necessary, it is the community that you need, the place where you pose a question like, “I want to do this. How do I do this? Where do I need to go?” And people are very willing to help. Just having a place to ask questions. All of a sudden, the barrier of entry is that much lower.   

There have been so many people that have arrived through the years, and the only thing they need to hear is “It’s alright, we’re here to help you. I went through that, it’s not just you”. They love to talk about their culture, where they are from, and having people listen is really valuable for them. The moment that you have to go to another country for whatever reason, having a non-judgmental group to go to where you can share, practice your English, practice your music. We all have moments where sometimes you need an incentive to go out of the house, and doing that every week would be the absolute difference between being healthy and unhealthy.   

I'm from the Netherlands and we don't really have that strong a folk history, so it was difficult to find a song for me to bring forward. I spent months listening to nursery rhymes and tunes in Dutch, but I came back to a song that got very popular during my youth. It is based on a Breton folk tune that they put Dutch lyrics on. I lived in Brittany for three years, so it was like, wow, this is the folk song for me. It is a very rousing song, and it follows the Starling Sessions ethic of doing things together, of solidarity and inclusion - it’s about drinking, eating and singing together. It's a sharing song, about community. That is what Starling tries to build, and I think they succeeded. You get to know the richness of your own culture, in an international context. It’s much deeper than listening to some countries’ anthem; it’s more like the hero’s journey. You need to leave your home to get to know it better. 

That dynamic, positive attitude to music and community has kept me going for the last two years. I made amazing friends from all different walks of life. The international community sets you up for making friends and building attachments. It’s about feeling at home in a new country, in a new city. But it also gave me connections in the musical community. By going to Starling Sessions, I am now in another band as the lead singer, and I am having talks with other people where I can write my own music. That is not something I expected. 

I think the buzzword here is flourishing. It is about feeling home. When you go to a different country, you need to take it in. You need to make friends. It takes a year before you have a group of people that you vibe with, that you call your friends, that you can just get together with and play some music, that you have birthday parties to go to. Building your community and feeling at home has been so much easier during this project. It made such a difference. I made connections with a lot of people. I’ve got friends, I've got birthday parties to go to. It definitely changed my life. I’m enjoying music again; I have friends, I feel at home, and I live in Oxford.